Another Day, Another Pile of Bodies
by Supernova1219
Summary: Clementine reaches the breaking point, and realizes why she is still on this Earth. (short one-shot.)


**Hello all. Welcome to my 4th oneshot! This story takes place in-between seasons 3 and 4. Hope you enjoy, even if it is relatively short.**

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"Oh fuck...oh god...please...I told you everyth-"

***BANG***

The back of the last scavengers skull was blown out just as suddenly as the silence had overtaken the scene not even a moment after. Looted bodies littered the hallways of the now desolate nuclear bunker as one lone figure picked her way through the pockets of the last soldier, who's information proved to be useless now that she had extracted everything she could from him.

He knew nothing, just like the last place.

She had been looking for A.J. for over 7 months now, following Dr. Lingard's vague instructions and heading into the wilds of post-apocalyptic America. She had been to many places; Raider and scavenger camps alike, and in all of them she had made her abilities known, tearing down each one with more ferocity and ruthlessness than the last. Over the years her ability to reason had been almost completely eradicated because of her many tragedies, and she eventually gave up a desire to keep some semblance of righteousness, instead reveling in her pessimism and eventually allowing her heart to be worn by it.

Her skill seemed to be unparalleled to most of her adversaries, and oftentimes she found herself getting drunk on power and battling her way through dozens of survivors without breaking a sweat. Taking down some of the strongest communities she had come across in her seemingly unending killing spree in a pursuit of rage and latent vengeance.

She began to realize that the motivation that gave her the ability to perform such extraordinary feats came from the same pool of motivation that Lee once drew from. A motivation to find and protect your child. To hold them close and bask in their safety.

But she couldn't help the fact that her mind was so weary, or that she just couldn't seem to find him.

As Clementine sluggishly got back up from her crouched position over the corpse, she idly wondered to herself whether her slow, sore movements were a result of all of the people she had to fight her way through to get here, or the mental exhaustion of not finding what she needed after all of this effort.

She was making her way back towards the front of the complex, making sure that she had destroyed every one of these fuckers brains on her war-path, when suddenly she felt a horrible rage bubbling within her. Wracking her brain and trying to awaken an all too familiar animal.

An animal she had just finished putting back to sleep.

Suddenly, voices filled her head.

'They lied to you. They all fucking lied to you.'

'They said he'd be out here.'

'Why did they lie to you?'

'There isn't a single fucking ranch anywhere out here!'

She couldn't help herself when she had to stop to push down her anger, leaning against the wall with her hands pressed against it, or when she suddenly flung the door to the room next to her open and collapsed on the first stable piece of furniture she could find, beginning to hyperventilate.

Here we go again...

Her breath became short and ragged as her entire body shook and covered itself in sweat within a matter of minutes.

Come on...not again...not now…the walker are gonna…

At that moment however, she had reminded herself of the emergency lockdown she had initiated during her rampage, and that nothing on the outside, even if they heard the gunshots, could get in. She had done this so that she could easily dispose of all of the scavengers without having any of them run away.

Can't leave any loose ends. They always cause problems.

Tears filled her eyes as her mind racing with a million different horrible thoughts. Thoughts of disemboweling that fucking junkie's corpse for lying to her, thoughts of her life before and of all the suffering she has caused since...

Her thoughts turned from outward rage to self-hatred as the voices in her head suddenly began to insult her.

'HA, You're pathetic, sitting there, crying like a little bitch!'

'What, sad because you can't find your little burden?'

'...you stupid whore. He's fucking dead. Just give up and die.'

'Look at all the people you've murdered. All the lives you've snuffed out.'

'Is this what your family died for? Some evil, less-than-nothing trash?'

'...**Lee would **_**hate**_** you**.'

The last statement echoed through her mind, louder than all the others and carrying her own voice with it. Leaving her with a sudden and uneasy silence. They're right, I've done so many horrible things...killed so many people...what's the point in going on if he's already dead?

She glanced down...eyeing the cold steel of the glock in her hand...

It's what you deserve…

People like you…

_**Monsters**_ like you…

Deserve to die.

She began to lift the weapon that had taken so much from so many. Caused so much horror and bloodshed, as she closed her weary-eyes.

Lee's pistol. A fitting weapon for an abomination like me.

It can give me peace...

Beautiful peace...

I just...I just can't do this anymore...no more pain...please...no more…

I don't want to be alone anymore.

The 13 year old couldn't stop as she felt the barrel press against her temple. She had no hesitation in her decision now, but rather a strange longing. A longing to be with her family.

Mommy...daddy…

Lee…Luke...Kenny…

Everyone...

Please forgive me.

Before she could pull the trigger however, a quiet, almost indistinguishable voice spoke to her through her sobs,

'Are you really gonna throw your life away Sweet-Pea?'

She opened her eyes, feeling helpless in the dust-laden white light of the bunker's overhead lights as she succumbed to her insanity.

"Please...I can't do it Lee...I tried...please...I just...I'm so tired...I can't find him…he...he has to be dead...I ju-just…cant..."

Her words were broken and defeated as she rambled to the false presence in her mind, her toughened and cold facade shattering as the walls of her mind continued to fall around her. Her finger was still squeezed against the trigger, ready to do what she has tried and failed at so many times before, in so many different ways.

All she heard was silence, so she timidly spoke once more,

"...Do you hate me?"

She waited for an answer, eyes darting towards some far away place in the darkness of the room.

'I could never hate you Sweet-Pea.'

Suddenly, she felt the gun drop from her hands, her apologies tumbling out each second as she crawled towards a figure that only she was able to perceive.

To anyone else, it would just be some psycho kid crawling around in the darkness. To her though, it was a desperate lunge for warmth and coddling as she lost herself in the depths of her mind, trying and, in moments, succeeding in obtaining such rewards, even if they were simply in her mind.

As she rested in her former guardians arms, sobbing and begging for forgiveness, he pressed an illusory finger to her lips. Simply telling her to calm herself and that everything was gonna be okay.

Once she had managed to completely silence herself, the false presence had begun to speak again.

'Let me ask you somethin' Clem, how do you think you would have felt if instead of trying to find and save you when that man kidnapped you, I had just ended my life? If I had just gave in to a fear of what already _might_ have happened?'

Clementine thought about his statement for a moment, realizing how betrayed and scared she would have felt if nobody came to save her. What kind of mother would she be if she just stopped now? What would the point of all the bloodshed have been, if she were to just give up?

"I...I can't just leave him like that...I...I have to keep going. I have to find him, no matter what I've done..."

'Yes, you do. Remember Clementine, you have the ability to atone. Its just up to you if you want to take the steps to change.'

"You're right Lee."

'Am I ever wrong?'

And in that moment, a little girl's innocent, broken laughter could be heard throughout the dead and bloody hallways, reverberating throughout the complex and vibrating the corpses that laid strewn and eviscerated.

And it just seemed to echo. Growing louder in her mind as it desperately tried to put itself back together once more.

Over and over again...forevermore.


End file.
